


Since You Left

by alistoney



Series: 3b inspired works [3]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: 3x11 missing scene, Angst, Gen, Guilt, Self Harm, mentions of clary and maia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-03
Updated: 2019-03-03
Packaged: 2019-11-08 23:36:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17990648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alistoney/pseuds/alistoney
Summary: Simon’s hand had been on the doorknob for 10 minutes.





	Since You Left

**Author's Note:**

> My poor baby is so broken and it hurt my heart so bad. So, naturally I wrote about it to make myself more sad about it. 
> 
> Make sure to read the tags, self harm is referenced in this work.

Simon’s hand had been on the doorknob for 10 minutes. 

He knew he was going to be late. Izzy had texted him to meet her at the Institute. She’d arranged him a portal to Detroit to talk to Raphael. 

But Simon’s hand had been on the doorknob for 10 minutes and he hadn’t been able to get himself to push the door open. 

He hadn’t left his apartment in in three days for good reason. 

He was  _ dangerous.  _

He couldn’t stop all the horrible scenarios from crowding his mind. Of people dying at his hand. Innocent people. People who were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

People like Clary.

Clary who was  _ dead _ . Because of him and this curse of a mark that he never wanted. 

The first morning after it had happened he’d woken up blissfully ignorant. Had gotten a good 30 seconds of peace before the memories had rushed back to him so hard he had choked on a sob. 

He’d tried that morning to cut the mark out of his head. Had fallen to his knees when the knife had flown out of his hands and let himself sob. 

He knew it wouldn’t work but he kept trying. Everyday he took out the knife and pointed it at his forehead. The split second of contact, when the cool tip of the blade grazed his skin before it was ripped away let him pretend. Pretend there was a world where he paid for the people he’d hurt.

Simon stood there in front of the door and thought about the way the mark glowed to life on his forehead. A mark that had brought nothing but problems and pain into his life. 

It had killed Clary.

Was ruining everything with Maia.

Simon tightened his hold on the doorknob as he felt a wave of overwhelming anger course through him. 

This mark was a  _ curse _ . Had made  _ him  _ into a curse. Had made it so that he ruined everything he touched.

He needed it gone. 

The only way to do that was to open the damn door and go talk to Raphael. 

Simon breathed in a long shaky breath and let the anger consume him. 

He let every pent up frustration and fear that the mark had lodged into his heart free, gritting his teeth against the wave of anger that rushed through him.

He opened the door. 

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and Kudos are appreciated
> 
> Tumblr: [lightwormsiblings](https://lightwormsiblings.tumblr.com)  
> Twitter: [alistoney1](https://mobile.twitter.com/alistoney1)


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